Here’s one more entry for questions we need to stop asking people: the oft-dreaded “when’s the baby?” Not only can it be sexist, but it raises many difficult fertility and motherhood issues for women. As Zoë Kravitz just pointed out on Dax Shepard’s Armchair Expert podcast, being asked that question is “annoying” and she gets “offended” to hear it so often. So let’s just let her (and all other women) live!

On the podcast’s May 4th episode, Shepard asked Kravitz if she thinks she’ll have a baby with husband Karl Glusman, whom she married in June 2019. Shepard recognized that it’s “a triggering question,” which, yes, it is.

Kravitz responded, “Usually when you get married or engaged, the first thing people ask you is when you’re gonna have a baby. I think it’s what they ask women, not men. So that’s a little annoying.” The High Fidelity actor continued, addressing how it’s tied to societal expectations for women.

“A lot of people ask the question, ‘When are you gonna have a baby?’ or say things like, ‘When’s the baby?’ and I really get offended by people assuming that’s something that I have to do because society says so,” Kravitz said.

Right now, Kravitz explained that she’s “not in a place” where she’s ready to have a child, for two very good reasons: her career is fire (our words, not hers); and she likes her free time. She also told Shepard that she isn’t someone who’s always “known” that she’s wanted to be a mother.

“I have a lot of female friends who have always known they’ve wanted kids, and part of me is jealous of women who just know,” Kravitz said. “It’s kind of like people who know what they want to do for a living and people who don’t. It’s a luxury to know what you want to do and to know where you’re heading.”

Check out Kravitz’s entire interview with Shepard below:

Whether Kravitz and her husband decide to have kids or not, we’re totally with her—and, suffice to say, if we ever had the chance to talk to her (we can dream), we will not ask her that question.

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