Chris Martin, Dakota Johnson Engaged?

Are Chris Martin and Dakota Johnson engaged? That’s a story in one of this week’s tabloids. However, the report has absolutely zero details to back up its claims, nor has a Johnson confidante heard anything to confirm it.

In an article titled, “Chris & Dakota Engaged!”, Life & Style writes that Johnson “wasn’t worried” about getting matching tattoos with Martin because there’s no question about their love for one another since the Coldplay frontman “already popped the question” and the actress said, “Yes.” After pointing out how Johnson and Martin both got the infinity symbol tattooed on their arms, the tabloid asserts they’re “keeping their engagement a secret.”

A so-called “source” tells the magazine that Martin is “worried that his ex-wife [Gwyneth Paltrow] is going to freak to when she finds out.” And while Paltrow has long moved on and is ready to marry TV producer Brad Falchuk, “she may have a hard time accepting that he’s finally moving on, too,” says the tipster. The flimsy article ends with its anonymous “source” contending that “Chris and Dakota have been looking at a variety of venues… and love the idea of a barefoot beach wedding in Malibu.”

And while sand often makes for a beautiful wedding, there seems to be no grain of truth to the tabloid’s tale. For starters, it’s hard to believe the publication has a “source” who maintains without reservation that Martin “already popped the question,” and yet has no specifics about how, when or where the rocker proposed. Wouldn’t a supposed insider, who seemly knows what type of wedding venue Johnson and Martin are looking for, be able to offer just one specific about when they got engaged?

More glaringly bogus is the outlet’s purported reason for why they couple is “keeping the engagement a secret.” Far from the tipster’s claim that Paltrow would “freak out,” and that she’d have a “hard time accepting that he’s finally moving on,” she has no romantic feelings whatsoever for her ex-husband with whom she famously “consciously uncoupled.” In fact, she often refers to Martin as a “brother.”

As far back as February 2016, Paltrow told Glamour in a cover story interview, “We’re still very much a family, even though we don’t have a romantic relationship. He’s like my brother.” Two years later, while Paltrow was on the “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert,” she similarly told the host, “He’s really like my brother. We’re very familial. It’s really nice. It’s great.” The Oscar-winner and her ex-husband have both moved on so far that last November, Paltrow posted a photo on Instagram of Martin and fiance Falchuk having breakfast together, along with a caption that read, “Sunday brunch #modernfamily.”

It appears after Martin and Johnson were spotted with matching tattoos a little more than a week ago, someone came up with this phony narrative about how the couple got secretly engaged. As noted above, no other legitimate outlet has made the leap from having matching ink to walking down the aisle. Still,